As I flounder about in this period of self discovery, I keep coming back to at least one truth: consciousness. I first really understood the concept of consciousness when I began studying Kundalini Yoga and the teachings of its master, Yogi Bhajan. His teachings often brought up with in me a resounding “I knew it! I knew that there had to be more to this life than the typical “work to buy a car so that you can get to work” lifestyle philosphy” but I was unsure up until that point, exactly how to break the mold. In his lectures he encourages us to become aware of ourselves, our thoughts, our actions and our egos. I learned that this awareness alone would allow me to have a certain level of control over the path I walked. (Pause for grammar and continuity check of paragraph) I just realized that I knew about consciousness earlier, before I could actually percieve of it. Lets back the train up.
My first exposure to the concpet was in 2nd year English during an in-class reading of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. The professor interpreted the piece further than Plato does in the conclusion, for those of us who didn’t quite get it, after finally “seeing the light” persay, I remember being overwhelmed by this amazing philosopher’s intelligence. I knew at that moment that I could not spend my life chained to the wall knowing that there was more to be had. The problem was, what exactly was I looking for when I turned away from the wall? I didn’t even know who to ask, or what I was asking about.
I suppose that was what lead me to deepen my exploration of the only thing that I could equate to a giant light - God. Which lead me through an exploration of all major religions, leading me eventually to the teachings of Yogi Bhajan. As I mentioned in the first paragraph, this is where I “got it”. The most important lesson I learned from that period in my life was to become conscious of how my decisions, most of which I had always taken for granted, effect me; consciously, energetically and physically. This has the basis for anything I chose to integrate into my practice or lifestyle.
As amazing and exciting as this new revelation was, I soon realized, however, that this way of life, is percieved as kind of … wierd. The part of the allegory that exemplifies what I’m talking about here is this:
Last of all he will be able to see the sun, and not mere reflections of him in the water, but he will see him in his own proper place, and not in another; and he will contemplate him as he is.
Once one sees the truth, one can’t really look away, because the truth is always there in the back of ones head. So even if this man, goes back to the way he once lived, chained to the wall, there is always a dissonance between him and others. The allegory goes on to describe what that dissonance looks like - you look crazy, or stupid to regular people, because they don’t know what you are talking about.
This is where the Buddhist proverb comes in. You are in a pickle, you can’t look back, but going on is a little bit painful. Funny thing is now, just like me, you have seen the truth first, and understood the proverb second! (This is apparently how it always works according to a non scientific survey of people who have broken out of their chains) We’re in this together now, floundering around looking for other people who think about the same, crazy reality that exists beyond the apparent reality. Even that sounds a bit crazy… oh well, at least we have eachother! Happy Halloween!