Lisa Tilson

Full moon at 8:02pm tonight.

Since my moon cycle began to sync with the moon, I have gained a lot of wisdom. When I wasn’t working, and was able to put all my attention into preparing for the special time that the moon brings, my mood was great, I had no cramps and I truly felt like an oracle - or at least the beginning of one. Then, two months ago, I went back to work and since then I have been completely unprepared for the full moon. In fact, my stress levels just before the full moon has been out of control, not only because work has been stressful, but because I have been way more emotional from not giving myself space and time when I most need it.

Both last month and this month I have committed to being in the public attention on the first day of my moon cycle, not to mention that I have worked long days leading up to it. Both times, I have had to bail at the last minute due to incredible cramps (note that as soon as I bailed and gave myself space, I was able to relax enough for them to subside) and I was left feeling karmic-ally irresponsible. Is this weird? Should a woman have to shut her life down for a period every month? Can’t she do what she wants during that time?

My experience is that most women feel that way. Give me a tampon, let me keep going to the gym, give me a birth control shot that relieves me of bleeding all over the place for few months. How am I supposed to succeed as a woman when I am a crampy, moody, bloody mess for three or four days (or seven!) per month?

I write this and I know that the question is not whether the past couple of months have been weird or not. Or whether I should have to shut my life of for a couple of days every month, but weather I want to. When I slow down and sit with myself (alone in my house this cycle because Justin is at school) after two months of not, it is really uncomfortable. I feel like I should be busy, I should be getting stuff done! The thought of sitting and resting without television, or movies or books - just sitting and meditating or doing reiki feels pretty uncomfortable. I’ll bet other women feel the same way. I think that this is the real reason why it is difficult for a woman to sit down and think about herself, BE with herself for a day or two - because it is completely out of the ordinary for a woman to do so. She is either working, or going to school to get a job, or looking after a family or all of these things.

I work at a Yoga Centre run mostly by women and I didn’t even feel like I could limit my stress - not because I thought my boss wouldn’t let me, but because I didn’t think I had time. I thought I was so important that the world wouldn’t continue if I slowed down for a few days. Not to mention the fear of slowing down and uncovering all of the emotional goo I have accumulated and stuffed away under my business.

So tonight, I am going to go for a long walk under the full moon, I am going to come back and not turn my computer on, or watch a movie, or TV, or read a book. I am supposed to be an oracle and its about time I let myself take up that much space - whether its comfortable or not.

Tonight is New Year’s Eve. At midnight it will have been 365.2 days since the last time we were in this place in our orbit around the sun? Why January 1st though? It has no agricultural or spiritual bearing, no real historical meaning, yet every year people party it up…

The Gregorian Calendar, formerly the Julian Calendar was established on February 24, 1582. The last country to adopt it was Turkey, in this century. The calendar is based on the earths rotation around the sun and its beginning and end has no bearing whatsoever on the seasons or the lunar calendar. In fact the Gregorian Calendar was created so that Easter fell at the same time every year where the lunar calendar caused it to jump around too much. The day the year starts wasn’t actually declared, it just arbitrarily came to be. What is important to recognize here, is that if we went by the lunar calendar, we would be completely out of synch with the sun, wherein staying with the solar calendar, we are entirely out of synch with the moon. The two cycles do not match up year to year. (Interesting considering the moon represents the femanine energy and the sun, the male energy - we live in a relativelly patriarchal society and we are following the sun… I digress)

I guess I’m at the age where I question everything (not 4, but 26) and where I want to have a reason for what I do instead of blindly following the masses. My parents always celebrated new years eve on December 31st, I recall giving New Years kisses to hairy lipped relatives that smelled of alcohol, and crying when the fire works went off. Now, I’m sitting here on new years eve day thinking that this day doesn’t really have meaning to me and that perhaps I need to gain some perspective.

When would the most logical end of the year be? I think the end of the year is the shortest day of the year, the Winter Solstice. By this point the plants are dead or in hibernation, the animals are in, the frost has come to freeze the ground. Everything has stopped. At midnight that night, the daylight hours are beginning to get longer thus waking and bringing everything back to life. I agree with the celts that the year is a cycle, not a liniar amount of time. Their calendar begins after Semhain which is a lunar festival celebrating the last day of the harvest season, somewhere around the 31st of October. This makes sense too. I will more consciously feel these days next year, however I imagine that both days have reason to celebrate. The last day of harvest season would be a good day to celebrate since it is so much work to get everything prepared for the frost, and it deserves to be recognized. The solstice seems like a time when it is dark, and cold and quiet - a celebration would liven things up a little!

Perhaps the year is a wheel, with no end and no beginning, only time interlaced by the movement of the sun, the moon and the earth. Maybe that is the reason why the lunar and solar calendars don’t line up - because there is no end.